As single parents, we sometimes allow more burdens or responsibilities to be pressed upon our lives without realizing the progressive damages we are causing that may slowly eat away at our family livelihood. Many of us have been given the label Supermom or Superdad and you may even enjoy that label but in reality, we should be called Super loving Mom or Super loving Dad because we are not made to do everything on our own. I believe we can be the best loving parent if we love ourselves with the same passion that we love our children.
In order for a child to be conceived, there must be a male and female for creation to begin. Since a man nor a woman can conceive a baby on their own, I believe a parent shouldn’t raise a child on their own. NOW, I hear you! I know you are raising those children all by yourself and so am I but I am trying to get you to understand that parenting is not meant for one parent, doesn’t mean that one parent can’t do a wonderful job, I believe that all the weight isn’t supposed to be on one parent.
We get to be so good at being both parents that society can’t tell, most of the time, that our kids are raised in a single parent home. We have desensitized our individuality as a parent to which we have assumed the prefix to mom and dad to Super. How can we teach our children to be their own individual person when we continue to show them that it’s okay to pick up cousin and them issues while you have your own issues to sort out? How do we teach them that they can be strong without carrying other people’s burdens when we are already on our knees with ours? Of course, we tell our children there is nothing they can’t do with God on their side and that is true but we also need to teach them to have discernment in knowing when enough is enough. I remember when my oldest son was in high school and he was in so many activities that it was a bit overwhelming for me but all that he was doing was for himself and his future. He was a senior on the varsity football team, mentor leadership program, student body president, writing essays for colleges, coaching in a debate group and I know much more that I am forgetting but he still had to come home and do his homework and his chores. My mother complained and said he is doing too much and I need to tell him to let something go. I said, he chose all those activities and if he needed help to stay organized, I was ready to assist. To be honest he wore me out many days wondering how he was going to accomplish all he was doing but he did. When he went to college, he took on even more responsibilities that amazed me. I said all of that to say that if what we take on is for the betterment of our family, then it will make us stronger but if what we allow someone else to tack on us, it can possibly make us weaker.
I believe we should start spring cleaning in January. Let’s start purging all the things and people that are weighing us down or holding us back. We need to start shedding what doesn’t pertain to our family lives. Because what will happen is that our children will start picking up some of the weight that will eventually hold them back or weight them down.
What are some of the things we can start doing in the purging process:
- Saying NO really isn’t that hard, it’s when you try to explain why…no explanation needed.
- Make sure when you take on more duties, that it will benefit you and your family.
- Reflect on your relationships – who always take and never give?
- Be consistent with whatever method of purging that works for you, your kids need to see that you are serious.
- Remember you are an individual first and a super loving parent, not a superperson that can do everything for everybody with no emotions.
In this new year, some new methods must be implemented for new results!
Just remember VSP you have the victory in raising wonderful children!